|
|
April 3rd, 1999
The Best Man Speech by
May I have your attention please. I would like to thank all of you for being here tonight. In
case you didn't know, I'm Rhonda's brother, and the best man, by title only.
First, I thought now would be the appropriate time to give Steve and Rhonda their wedding gift.
After much thought and consideration, I thought, "What do I get for the couple who has
everything?" Then I realized, that one of the biggest problems with newlyweds was
boredom. I wanted to get them something that would keep them entertained so they wouldn't
get board. So, what I decided to get them, I have the gift right here, is a game, I don't
know if any of you have ever heard of it, I've never played it before, its called Twister.
I just figured that playing Twister might be something for the two of you to, uh, keep your
hands full with whenever you get bored. Steve and Rhonda, I really hope that you enjoy it.
Now, getting down to more serious matters, after much thought and consideration, I've came
up with the top ten reasons why Steve and Rhonda decided to get married. So hear it is.
Reason #10: They both always wanted someone that they could reminisce with about the good
old times of going to Forman High School
Reason # 9: Rhonda is "actually" serious when she she says that Steve is a good
guitar player.
Reason # 8: Steve's always wanted to marry a pharmacist, just in case he needs some
illegal Viagra in a few years.
Reason # 7: This is the only couple on the planet that actually have matching 'his and her'
computers.
Reason # 6: Where else can you find two grown adults who both actually enjoy listening
to "Weird" Al Yankovic?
Reason # 5: Rhonda wanted an excuse to get out of playing the organ at church tomorrow
morning.
(This one I'm not sure about)
Reason # 4: Rhonda is the only one who knows why Steve's nickname is "Stiffy"
(I'll be honest, I'm still trying to figure that one out. But I think he
has Grandpa Rauch to thank for that one.)
Reason # 3: From the first time I met him, Steve already seemed like he was part
of the family.
Reason # 2: Both of them were both just sick and tired of their only thrill being
"Computer Sex"
And the # 1 Reason why Rhonda and Steve are getting married : Steve puts up with
Rhonda's damn cat Iggy! Just from that Steve, I know your one hell of a guy. And for those of
you that haven't met Rhonda's cat Iggy, you're all missing out on a "Real Treat."
Unfortunately, Iggy could not be here tonight, so I decided to bring this picture, so
Iggy could at least be here in spirit. I'll leave this sitting on the bar if any of you
are brave enough to look at it)
In case you didn't know, Rhonda and Steve were great friends years before they ever became,
"romantic" or "interested" in one another. I don't know how many different times Steve would
come around to family parties with Rhonda, as her friend, and everyone gkept asking them "So
why aren't you two more than just friends?" In fact, I remember Rhonda telling me about how
Steve was interested in computers and different things like that, and I remember saying to her,
"God Rhonda, he sounds as weird as you are! I think you two were meant to be together!"
A little over two years ago, we were having a party for my cousin Clint's marriage. Steve
and Rhonda were there, as friends, of course. I remember that everybody's just sitting
around having a good time, and the next thing I know, I look over on the couch, and there I
see Rhonda and Steve were sitting there holding hands. I can remember thinking to myself,
and I think everybody else was to, "It's about time!"
These are probably the only two people that I've known that have been
together for over two years, and I've never even seen them get into an argument, not even to
mention a fight. I don't know of too many couples that can say that. It's a sign that even in
marriage, they're still great friends, and if that isn't a hint that these two will be
together forever, then nothing is.
Rhonda, I just want you to know that you'll always be my favorite sister.
And Steve, I'm very proud to call you my brother, and I really do mean that. I can't tell you
how happy I am that the two of you found each other, and I want you to know that I love both
of you guys from the bottom of my heart, and I'm positive the two of you are going to have a
fantastic life together. If you two aren't the perfect couple, then I don't know what is.
So at this time I would like for everyone to stand up and raise your glasses high up in the
air, and drink this one for Rhonda and Steve.
Oh, and Rhonda and Steve, I promise, we'll all wait at least 6 months before we start
bugging the two of you to start having kids. Thank you.
Click here to return to main menu.
